The World's Greatest Valentine
by Pre-Animation Man
Summary: On Hearts and Hooves Day, Twilight makes the best valentine ever for his best friend, Pippi. But when a herd of chocolate-eating scallops threatens the valentine's arrival, Twilight must come up with a plan to save the day and the residents of Carlenlot City. This is a Parody of Spongebob Book, The World's Greatest Valentine.
1. Chapter 1

"Happy Heart and Hooves Day, Cartenlot City!" With this jaunty cry Twilight Sparkle sprang out the front door of his home and ran across the floor.

Twilight Sparkle had thought February 14 would never arrive! His skinny arms were overflowing with valentines of all shapes and sizes. After weeks of waiting, he could deliver his custom-made gifts at last!

"First stop, a valentine for my favorite next-door neighbor!" Twilight said with a happy giggle.

Dancing across the grass on the tiptoes of his shiny patent purple boots, Twilight lobbed a large pink valentine into the lap of highs frowning neighbor, Fluttershy.

"Happy Heart and Hooves Day, pal!" Twilight sang. "Will you be mine?"

Fluttershy scowled, then sat back in his outdoor lounge chair. "Why don't you go play in this holiday?" he suggested sarcastically.

"That's a great idea! Sharks need love too, and I've got lots more valentines to give!" Twilight replied with a wave. "Good-bye!"

"Good riddance," Fluttershy said sourly, shredding his valentine into confetti and tossing the pieces over his head.

Spotting Pinkie Pie behind the steering wheel of her blue-and-white car, Twilight ran up alongside her vehicle.

"Happy Hearts and Hooves Day, Pinkie Pie!" Twilight called as he tossed her a red valentine with white lace.

"Oh, my! Thank you, Twilight!" the pink girl replied as she opened the valentine.

Taking out a pair of tweezers, he selected the smallest paper heart from his pile and held it out to a Applejack.

"Twilight!" the Applejack cried as he looked up. "Well, I'm ready for you! Give me your best shot!"

"Okay!" Twilight agreed. "Here you go!"

Applejack took the offering and read the note aloud. "I'd walk the plank for you! Be my valentine! Love . . . Twilight?"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha!" Twilight tittered as he skipped away. "Happy Hearts and Hooves Day, Applejack!"

Twilight wasn't listening. He continued dropping off valentines throughout Cartenlot City. But he had to hurry, for there was a final stop to make before his Valentine's Day was complete. .. .

Twilight arrived at Applejack's House. He was ready and eager to take his Hearts and Hooves Day plans to the next level.

Applejack was waiting outside in her pinkcute heart motif jumper say "Love" on center, grey cropped trousers, and pink shoes on it. She had a smile on her face and her hands behind her back.

"Happy Heart and Hooves Day, Twilight! I'm nuts for you!" Applejack said with a grin as she handed over a heart-colored apple with a twig arrow through the center.

"And I'm bubbles for you, Applejack!" Twilight replied, taking out his bubble wand and a bottle of chocolate syrup.

A master of bubble blowing, Twilight blew a heart-shaped chocolate surprise to Sandy.

"Mmmm! Mighty tasty!" she said, gobbling up the gift through a portal in her air helmet. "Pippi's going to love the one you made for him!"

Together, Twilight and Applejack turned to look at the tremendous chocolate balloon tied down behind the house. The balloon was large enough to carry two people in the hanging basket below. There was even a pink marshmallow girl attached to each side!

"Take me through the plan again," Applejack said as she examined the balloon. Twilight dipped the bubble wand into the syrup bottle, took a deep breath, and blew out a floating, three-dimensional chocolate model of the Cartenlot City Heart and Hooves Day Carnival!

"Step one: Pippi and I get to the Hearts and Hooves Day Carnival," Twilight said in a commanding tone of voice. "Step two: I position Pippi and myself on top of the Ferris wheel."

"Check and double check," Applejack replied, nodding in agreement. She was amazed at the detail of the chocolate model that hovered in the water.

Twilight blew a small bubble replica of the mammoth heart-shaped chocolate balloon. The replica floated over the top of the model carnival. "Step three: You arrive with Pippi's valentine at the designated checkpoint for maximum visual contact."

"Got it!" Sandy agreed, readying herself for take-off.

The small bubble landed on the boardwalk of the chocolate carnival. "Step four: Pippi is thrilled! Mission accomplished!"

"Sounds good, Twilight!" Applejack said, untying the ropes that held Pippi's Valentine's Day gift to the bottom of the street. "Keep me posted on the phone."

"Right!" Twilight replied. "I'll go grab Pippi right now and Operation Valentine will be in full play!"

Twilight looked up proudly as Applejack floated away in the balloon. He could hardly wait to see the look on Pippi's face. This was going to be a Valentine's Day his pal would never forget!

Crunk! Crunk! Crunk! Crunk!

Pippi Longstocking was breaking rocks.

Crunk! Crunk! Crunk!

One rock, actually. He was chipping the stone into the shape of a heart. Pippi knew Twilight would be arriving soon, and he wanted to have his gift finished.

Crunk! Crunk!

Pippi loved Valentine's Day almost as much as Twilight. The lively girl had even bought a new triangle boat neck sleeveless dress on the front for the occasion.

Crunk!

"There!" Pippi said, pleased with his handiwork. "Nice and smooth!"

The girl lifted the stony valentine just as Twilight came up behind him.

"Hi, Twilight!" Pippi said.

Pippi looked confused. He peered down at the rock. "Hello?" he said.

"Pippi, it's me. Twilight," Twilight said.

"Oh, my gosh!" Pippi yelped, dropping the rock in shock. "Twilight's stuck inside this rock! Hold on, buddy! I'll get you out!"

Grabbing a second stone, Pippi began to smash the heart-shaped rock. With a series of hammerlike blows, he reduced the valentine to a pile of pebbles!

Pippi was horrified! Had he crushed his best friend?

"Twilight?" he whispered, sifting through the remains.

Standing behind Pippi, Twilight rolled his eyes. "Yes, Pippi?"

"Twilight! Oh, no!" Pippi said, falling to his knees and weeping. He picked up the rubble and held it to his cheek. "My poor pal!"

"Uh, Pippi? I'm right behind you!" Twilight said.

Pippi turned and leaped up with delight! "There you are!" he said happily, thrusting out the handful of pebbles. "Happy Valentine's Day! Here's your present!"

Twilight took the debris. "Thanks!" he said, then pointed at Pippi. "And I have a present for you."

Pippi's eyes widened with excitement!

"You do?" he said. "Forme!"

"For you!" Twilight giggled. "It's the greatest..."

Pippi's eyes bulged. He tried to speak, but all he could say was, "Uhhh!"

Twilight continued, "The bestest..."

A trickle of drool ran down the side of Pippi's mouth. "Yeah?" he said.

"The most fantabulous ..."

Pippi turned multiple cartwheels with anticipation. "UH-HUH! UH-HUH!"

"The single most amazing present... EVER!"

"EEEEEEEEEEE!" Pippi squealed, rolling around on the floor.

"But," Twilight added in a teasing tone, "you can't have it yet."

"Huh?" Pippi hopped to his feet and thrust his face into the tip of Twilight's long nose. "Why not?" he asked in a hurt voice.

Twilight shrugged. "Because it's not ready yet."

Pippi paused for approximately one second. "Is it ready now?" he asked.

"Not yet," Twilight teased.

Twilight gritted his teeth. "Now?" he asked hopefully.

"Nope."

"How about now?" he asked.

Twilight put his hands on his square hips and frowned. "Do you want to ruin the surprise?" he asked.

"YES!" Pippi said, nodding his head up and down so that the water swirled around his neck like a miniwhirlpool!

"Ah-ah-ah-ahhh!" Twilight scolded, wagging a finger.

"Come on, please!" Pippi begged.

Twilight crossed his arms. "Sorry."

Pippi fell facedown on the ground. "You gotta tell me!" he pleaded.

"No can do, old chum. You'll just have to wait," Twilight said, struggling to move. He looked down at his feet. Patrick had locked both hands onto Twilight's right ankle.

"Please, please, please!" Pippi begged, hanging on for dear life as Twilight slowly dragged him toward the carnival.

"Uh-uh," Twilight said. "You know what they say . . . good things come to those who wait!"

"B-b-but ... I'm tired of waitin'!" Pippi shrieked. "I want my present now!"


	2. Chapter 2

Twilight glanced at his watch. He was making slower time than anticipated, as Pippi was still clinging to his ankle. He didn't want to be late and miss Applejack's arrival.

"Please! Please! Puh-leeeeze?" Pippi whined.

Twilight shook his leg, but his friend had a firm grip. He sighed and kept walking.

"PLEASE! Oh, please tell me! Please! Please?" Pippi begged. "Oh, please you gotta tell me! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! . . . PLEASE!?"

"Okay, Patrick! Here we are!" Twilight finally announced. "One surprise coming up!"

The girl gazed out across the seascape and gasped. His mouth dropped open and he jumped for joy!

"You got me a carnival!?" Pippi cried happily as he raced through the entrance. "A carnival for me?"

"No, not a carnival, I mean, not exactly. . . ." Twilight said, trying to explain. But Pippi wasn't listening.

"Mine! Mine! Mine!" Pippi yelled, glowering at the other Cartenlot City residents enjoying the attractions. "All right! Everybody out! This is my carnival!"

Twilight tapped Pippi on the shoulder. "It's not your carnival."

Pippi sagged. "Oh," he said.

Twilight dug into a pocket of his pants and took out twenty-five cents. "Here," he said, handing the coin to Pippi. "Why don't you take this quarter and—"

"Oh, my gosh ... a QUARTER!" Pippi cried as he snatched the money from Twilight's outstretched hand. "I've always wanted a quarter!"

Twilight slapped his soggy forehead. "It's not the quarter," he replied.

"It looks like a quarter."

"It is a quarter, but that's not the surprise,". Twilight explained.

"Oh," Pippi said. "Sorry."

"What I want you to do is take that quarter and buy some cotton candy," Twilight said, pointing to a small display cart on wheels. "And then—"

"COTTON CANDY! I can't believe it!" Pippi said, running toward the candy salesman with a wild-eyed look. "Gimme that cart! I'm claiming what is mine!"

The poor salesman ran for his life as Pippi chased him down the boardwalk.

Twilight giggled. Pippi was going to be thrilled when Applejack arrived with his surprise!

"Help! Get away! Help me!" the salesman yelled.

"Cotton candy! Gimme!" Pippi replied.

A burst of static erupted from Twilight's back pocket. He took out his shell-phone and pressed a button.

"Applejack to Twilight . . . come in, Twilight!" Applejack's voice crackled from the shell's speaker.

"Twilight here."

Onboard the chocolate valentine balloon, Applejack looked out across the park and spied the blinking lights and colorful flags of the carnival.

"I've got a visual on the carnival," she said. "You want me to bring 'er in?"

Twilight grinned. "Not yet, Applejack. Patrick's still trying to guess what his valentine is!"

Back in the gondola of the balloon, Applejack snickered. "You are such a kidder! Sandy over and out!"

She reached over and adjusted one of the guidelines, letting the chocolate balloon float in place.

Suddenly, she heard a chattering sound!

"Oh, no!" she gasped. A swarm of chomping shellfish was diving straight for the balloon! "Scallops!"

The situation got even worse.

As they got closer, Sandy recognized this particular breed of shellfish. "Chocolate-eatin scallops!"

Tired of chasing the cotton candy cart, Pippi paused in front of Twilight. "So, that wasn't my valentine?"

"Nope!" Twilight said.

"Then, what? What is it?" Pippi demanded. "I CANT TAKE THIS WAITING!"

"You'll have to guess," Twilight said with a chuckle.

Pippi ran over and pointed at the "Read Your Fin" fortune-telling tent. "This tent?" he asked.

"Wrong!" Twilight said. "You gotta try harder than that!"

Pippi grabbed a very surprised dog by the collar. "This guy?" he asked.

"Sorry, no!" Twilight said, struggling not to laugh.

Disgusted, Pippi hurled the sea bass away like a javelin and snatched a hotdog from one of the two hands of an Rarity.

"Hey! That's my lunch!" Rarity complained.

"How about this hotdog?" Pippi demanded.

"Tee-hee!" Twilight laughed. "Is that your final answer?"

Pippi pondered for a few seconds. "Yes," he said.

"No!" Twilight replied.

Pippi shoved the hotdog into the owner's mouth and raced over to the Valentine's Day science booth. Hunching over a microscope, he peered into the eyepiece and spotted a swimming creature invisible to the naked eye.

"This Paramecium?" Pippi demanded.

Twilight held firm. "Sorry, no."

Pippi skidded to a stop and placed a friendly arm around Twilight's shoulders. "Heh, heh, heh. You're a sly one," he said with a crazed gleam in his eyes.

Then, the gleam brightened.

Pippi had an idea!

"If I can't find it here at the carnival, then it must be outside on top of . . . Mount Climb-Up-And-Fall-Off!" Pippi cried, racing out of the exit toward the nearby mountain range.

Twilight watched his friend grow smaller and smaller in the distance. Pippi ran to the top of the mountain and leaped off with a cry of "AAAAIIIEEE!"

There was a faint thud when he landed.

The fall didn't even slow the starfish down. He ran back to Twilight.

"The valentine ... it wasn't there . . . either'' Pippi gasped, trying to catch his breath.

Twilight's eyes narrowed. "Are you sure?" he asked.

Pippi considered this.

"Dahhh!" he yelled, then turned and ran all the way back to the mountain!

As Twilight watched Pippi repeatedly climb up and fall off the tip of Mount Climb-Up-And-Fall-Off, his shell-phone chirped.

"Hello?"

"Applejack to Twilight!"

"Roger, Applejack!" Twilight said. "You can bring the balloon in now!"

"Um, no can do, Twilight," Applejack replied.

Back at the heart-shaped balloon, the cowgirl was using all her kung fu fighting skills to hold the swarm of scallops at bay!

"Why not?" Twilight asked.

"We've got ourselves a little problem," Applejack replied, swinging out with a side kick to knock away a hungry girl. "Hi-yah! I got a pack of chocolate-eatiri scallops trying to rustle the balloon!"

Twilight listened in horror. He could hear Applejack grunting with exertion as she battled the attacking scallops!

"Git away, ya sweet-toothed varmints!" she cried. "Hi-yah! Twilight, I'm gonna be a little late for the shindig!"

Twilight's entire body sagged in his clothes. "Late?" he said worriedly. "But what about—"

"AAAIIIEEE!" Pippi screamed, plunging once more from the top of Mount Climb-Up-And-Fall-Off.

"Pippi?" Twilight finished in a hushed voice.

"Take him up on the Ferris wheel like you planned and I'll meet you there—I hope! Applejack over and out!"

Twilight put away the phone. What was he going to do? If Pippi didn't get his valentine, there was no telling what he might do.

"I'm pretty sure it isn't up there," Pippi announced with a wheeze.

"Gahh!" Twilight cried in surprise. He hadn't heard his friend come back.

Pippi was a mess. The girl's new dress was dirty, his hands were scuffed from the repeated dives, and his face was weary.

"Where ... is it?" Pippi pleaded, gasping for breath. "Where ... is ... my ... valentine?"

Twilight winced, crossed his fingers for luck, and said, "Actually, it's on the, um, Ferris wheel."

"FERRIS WHEEL!" Pippi bellowed, grabbing Twilight by the hand and pulling him toward the brightly lit attraction.

Luckily, there wasn't a line and Twilight was able to buy two tickets for the ride. Pippi was entranced as the wheel slowly started to turn. He kept repeating over and over in a whisper, "Ferris wheel, Ferris wheel, Ferris wheel."

As they rose higher and higher, Twilight looked around anxiously for Applejack and the chocolate valentine balloon. Unfortunately, he saw nothing but wholw world.

The wheel rotated to a stop. Pippi & Twilight were now in the tip-top Ferris wheel car, the highest spot in the carnival.

Pippi turned to Twilight. "I'm ready!" he said with a big smile. "I'm ready for the neatest valentine present in the whole wide world!"

"Well, this is where you're gonna get it," Twilight replied, pointing directly ahead into the mountains beyond the carnival. "Just keep looking, pal! One present coming right up!"

"Ooooooo!" Pippi said, clapping his hands together with glee. "My valentine is coming!"

While Pippi was distracted, SpongeBob turned away and slipped his phone out of his pants. "Twilight to Applejack," he whispered. "Come in, Applejack! Urgent!"

Back at the balloon, Applejack was in the middle of a terrific brawl! Dozens of chattering scallops were swarming around the two-fisted cowgirl and her rich chocolate valentine!

"Applejack to Twilight, I got my ox in a ditch over here! Hi-yah!" she cried, placing a well-aimed karate chop at the chin of a hungry scallop. "I'm way off course!"

"How far?" Twilight asked. Pippi was growing more and more restless.

"Uh, well, gee Pippi . . . you know how sometimes you plan something special and things just don't work out?" Twilight said nervously.

"No! I don't!" Pippi said, sweat starting to bead on his forehead. He wiped his brow and turned to Pippi. "Holy mackerel! Is it hot up here or what?"

Before Twilight could answer the question, Pippi stood up in the Ferris wheel seat. The car shifted, nearly tossing SpongeBob out from beneath the safety restraint bar.

Pippi ripped off his new dress and threw away the pieces. "Gahhhaa!" he screamed. Scared of falling, Twilight tried to wedge himself into the far corner of the Ferris wheel seat.

Pippi began to jump up and down, chanting, "Valentine! Valentine! Valentine!"

From the base of the mighty Ferris wheel to the highest point where Twilight and Pippi were perched, the entire carnival ride began to squeak and moan.

Twilight's body flapped like a flag in the breeze as he hung on to the safety bar.

"Yaaaaaaah!" he screamed! "Pippi, stop!"

Pippi shook the Ferris wheel even harder. "Val-en-tine! Val-en-tine! Val-en-tine!" he chanted.

"Wait, Pippi, hold it!" Twilight cried in sheer terror. He freed one of his hands and waved it at his rampaging pal. "Here it is! I've got your valentine present!"

Pippi froze and turned to look at Twilight.

Twilight smiled, waggling his fingers. "Eh, hah-ha-ha-ha!" he tittered.

Pippi sat down, and the Ferris wheel stopped shaking. The girl furrowed his brow and peered at Twilight's outstretched hand.

"What's that?" he asked.

"A handshake!" Twilight said in his best salesmanlike pitch. "A friendly handshake!"

One of Pippi's eyes twitched as he slumped in his seat. He took a deep breath, and then said in a calm voice. "A handshake? That's the big gift? You got me a HANDSHAKE?"

Twilight reached over and grabbed Pippi's hand and shook it vigorously. "Not just any ordinary ol' handshake! A friendly handshake! Happy Valentine's Day!"

As if on cue, the Ferris wheel clanked, and began to lower them to the ground.

Pippi looked at his hand. He didn't say a word, even as his face deflated in disappointment.

Pippi was not happy.

"Come on!" Twilight said, trying to change the subject as he led Pippi down the boardwalk to the next attraction. "There's lots more stuff to see!"

First there was a visit to the Buddy Bounce, where Twilight happily bounced to and fro like a weightless astronaut on the moon. Pippi also bounced, but his gloomy expression didn't change.

Next was the Wild Mollusk Roller Coaster. Twilight and Pippi sat in the front seat and raced around the tracks. Twilight screamed and waved, while Pippi stared at his hand and frowned.

Finally, hoping the sights and sounds of the Tiki Fun House would cheer Pippi up, Twilight led his friend into the hall of mirrors. Twilight giggled as their reflections twisted in comical ways, but Pippi wasn't paying any attention.

Twilight sat down on a bench and sighed. How could he make things up to his disappointed pal?


	3. Chapter 3

Pippi sat, rubbed his pink chin thoughtfully, and turned to look at Twilight.

"I've been thinking," Pippi said in a monotone voice. "At first, a handshake doesn't seem like much, but really, it's the thought that counts."

Sliver Spoon slithered up to the bench. She was holding a large heart-shaped box. "Hey, Pippi! I just wanted to thank you for this lovely box of chocolates!"

Twilight smiled at the eel. "No problem, Spoon!"

Pippi frowned, and then continued to speak: "I mean, even though I was expecting more—"

Rainbow Dash with an armful of roses strolled up and waved to Twilight. "Thanks for the roses, Twilight! Happy Hearts and Hooves Day!"

Twilight sunk down on the bench. "Uh, you too, Dash! Glad you liked them."

Pippi tightened his jaw muscles, and went on, "And not that it matters that we've been friends for so long—"

The Cutie Mark Crusaders rode up on a bicycle and stopped next to the bench. She leaned over and said, "Hey, Twilight! Thanks for the bike!"

Twilight pulled his head down into the collar of his white dress shirt like a Turtle disappearing into his shell.

Babs Seed elbowed Pippi and said, "Can you believe this guy? I just met him this morning!"

As she pedaled away, Pippi continued: "So, as I was saying—"

"Excuse me," Diamond Tiara said. "Do you guys have the time?"

Pippi whirled on the interloper and grabbed him by the shoulders! Hefting the unlucky guppy over his head, the furious girl hurled him into the midst of the Happy Valentine's Ring Toss game.

"Yoooaaggghah!" Pippi cried. "PIPPI NEEDS LOVE TOO!"

Pippi beat his chest like a gorilla and ran down the boardwalk into the midst of the carnival, crying in anger and disappointment.

"Oh, no! This is all my fault!" Twilight cried, chasing after his friend. "I've got to try and stop him!"

"AAROOOOOO!" Pippi bellowed. "Where's MY love? Where's the love for Pippi?"

No one was safe! Not the ticket taker, not the soda-pop girl, not even the poor slob wearing the giant red valentine costume and entertaining the kiddies!

"It's an art to have a heart!" Silver Spoon sang. "Won't you be mine here in the brine?"

"Yay!" Crusaders replied, wiggling their fins. "We love you, Silver Spoon!"

"Arrrgh! I defy you, heart man!" Pippi screamed, bounding up and scattering the children like scaly bowling pins.

"Run! It's a monster!" the kids cried, fleeing for safety.

Pippi ripped the bright pink suit off the poor entertainer's shoulders, leaving a confused actor standing in his underwear!

A siren began to wail. Over the carnival loudspeaker system, an announcer warned, "Attention, everyone! There's a evil girl on the loose!"

The panic was on! Everyone ran for the exits! No one wanted to cross an angry girl!

Especially one that had undergone such a terrible transformation: Pippi's color had changed from pink to purple and his eyes were bloodshot. Pumped up with anger and disappointment, he was now ten times as strong as the average girl!

He was also ten times as angry.

"Unhappy Valentine's Day, everyone!" Pippi yelled as he ran toward the Swing for Two ride. There were dozens of pairs of swings attached to a tall red-and-white striped pole, and perched on the top was a giant, blinking red heart!

"Heart on stick must die!" Pippi snarled. He wrapped his arms around the base of the pole and strained with all his might to pull it up from the ground!

"GWARRR!" Pippi yelled as he struggled to wreck the swing ride.

"No, Pippi! Don't do it!" Twilight cried from a safe distance. "I'll make it up to you, I promise!"

Pippi growled, grunted, and pulled as hard as he could, but the mammoth pole wouldn't budge. At last he fell on his butt and put his head in his hands.

"Rooo!" he moaned sadly. "Rooooo!"

Tommy and Annika approached Pippi to see if he was okay. She was carrying a red heart-shaped lollipop.

Pippi looked up, spied the lollipop, and once again cried out, "Heart on stick must die!"

Snatching the candy away from the children, the girl bit the heart-shaped candy off at the tip, chomping and drooling with delight!

Twilight stamped his foot. Taking candy from kids was a definite no-no!

"Pippi!" he scolded. "How could you?"

The girl spun around, his eyes bulging in their sockets and his mouth smeared with red sticky candy. "Mwalughmuhgum!" Patrick snarled. All friendliness was gone, leaving nothing behind but a mad monster!

"Yikes!" Twilight squeaked, fleeing to hide in the midst of the gathering crowd. He was hoping for safety in numbers.

Pippi stood, his arms outstretched, and began to stomp toward the onlookers.

One step forward by pippi.

One step back by the crowd.

Twilight kept his head down, hoping Pippi wouldn't see him.

Pippi picked up the pace and moved closer, his beady eyes seeking out his purple human target.

As one, the crowd shuffled away, trying to maintain their distance from the frustrated girl. But there was nowhere left for them to go. Pippi had backed them to the end of the dock!

"GRAAAAAH!" the angry girl yelled. "Give me TWILIGHT!"

The crowd promptly tossed Twilight out on his nose.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Twilight laughed nervously as he looked up at Pippi. "How's it going?"

"You broke my heart!" Pippi said, waving a fist. "OK Now, I'm gonna break something of yours!"

Twilight got up to his feet and stuck his hands deep in his pockets. "Okay. Pippi." he said sadly. "I know I deserve this!"

"That's right!" Pippi cried. "You deserve it all, 4 Mr. Greatest Bestest Most Fantabulous Valentine's Day Present Ever!'"

Twilight gestured to the crowd gathered behind him. "I might deserve it. but do they?" Everyone smiled nervously. A few waved their wallets. One lady winked and blew a kiss.

Pippi wasn't buying it. He stomped his foot and bellowed, ''They didn't get me anything EITHER!"

A torrent of chocolates, valentines, and presents landed at Twilight's feet.

"Nope!" Pippi said stomping through the pile of gifts. "It's too late for that now! For all of you!"

But then, as the angry girl advanced on the helpless crowd, a new sound rang out across the carnival! A humming noise, like that of a hundred sets of teeth all chattering at once, echoed over the boardwalk!

"Yee-hah! Git along, little girl!" Applejack cried, riding atop a repaired, but still intact, heart-shaped chocolate balloon with pink marshmallow starfish on the sides!

With one hand, she cracked a whip. In the other, she held the reins for the now-tamed scallops who were pulling her along!

"Yay! Woo-hoo! Applejack's here!" Twilight called. "Heart and Hooves Day is saved!"

"Gallop, you scallops!" Applejack called, expertly maneuvering the balloon. Dropping the reins, she freed the scallops, and the chocolate valentine landed without a sound behind Pippi.

Twilight was so excited, he could hardly speak. "Look Pippi! It's here! It's here!" he called. "The best valentine in the whole wide world is right behind you!"

"Su-u-r-r-r-re it is."

"Really!" Twilight replied, pointing at the balloon. "See?!"

Pippi crossed his arms and gave Twilight a sarcastic grin. "You must think I'm pretty dumb, huh?"

"YES!" the crowd replied in unison.

"Well, I'm not!" Pippi sneered. "I know this is just another trick!"

"But I'm telling you the present is right there!" Twilight urged. "Turn around!"

"Nuh-uh!"

Twilight stepped closer to Pippi and tried to move him, but the hefty girl would not budge. "Come on, Pippi!" he begged.

"Just turn around!"

"Yeah! Turn around!" someone in the crowd called.

"Nothing doing!" Pippi replied.

"Turn around! Turn around! Turn around! Turn around!" the crowd chanted.

Pippi was firm. "No, I won't! No, I won't!" he chanted back.

"Turn around! Turn around!"

"You can't make me!"

"Turn! Turn! Turn!"

Pippi hiked up his Bermuda shorts and frowned. "I'm only gonna say this once, and I'm not gonna say it again, so pay attention!" he said. "I am not, I repeat, NOT, going to turn around for any reason . . . EVE"

"Howdy, Pippi!" Applejack called from the top of the balloon.

Pippi turned around with a big smile and waved.

"Hi, Applejack!" he replied, before his mouth fell open and hit the wood of the dock with a ka-clunk.

There, before his fevered eyes, was the biggest, most coolest, chocolatey valentine ever! Just like SpongeBob had promised!

"Duh-muh-ba-duh-guh—," Pippi babbled in shock.

Twilight slapped him on the back. "Happy Hearts and Hooves Day, Pippi!"

"Yay! Yay! Mine! Valentine!" Pippi called as he ran over and embraced the chocolate balloon.

"Awwwwww!" the crowd said, relieved.

Scrambling to get his arms around the balloon, Pippi pressed his face into the chocolate. The valentine smelled delicious! Patrick just had to take one bite!

"Hey, Twilight! Is this solid chocolate?" the girl called, before sinking his teeth into the present.

"Pippi, NO!" Twilight cried, but his warning came too late.

The balloon burst with a loud "POP!" covering the entire carnival in a gooey candy mess! Sticky pieces of chocolate valentine and hunks of pink marshmallow were everywhere.

After a moment, Pippi lifted his head. His face was smeared with candy.

Twilight's feet appeared nearby, followed by the rest of his body as he wiggled out from under the burst balloon. His head and clothes were coated in chocolate.

Up to their necks in goo, Pippi and Twilight looked at each other.

Pippi grinned. "Awwwww, gee, Twilight," he said. "You really didn't have to get me anything!"

THE END


End file.
